relief

after a gloomy weekend in my own paranoia, the accommodation problem is now happily resolved. i spoke to someone in the office and they have gotten the fax i sent on saturday. YAY! i get to stay in wolfson after all. *HUMONGOUS SIGH OF RELIEVE*

thanks pw, for being my sensible and sensitive support! you are truly invaluable. *muah*
thanks vo, for offering advice on how to deal with the uk people.
and thanks my boy, for listening to me gripe and putting up with my sour mood =)
thank you all!

now the sun shines again!


went to manda's 21st party last night. it was held at l'antipasto, a very hard-to-get-to restaurant in the middle of bukit timah area. but the food was really good and the service impeccable. should go try if you are feeling rich and feeling like enjoying good italian food with good ambience. the tiramisu and the calamari are must-tries!

manda was really pretty last night! as the theme was 'a venetian affair', she was dressed up in this black tube dress with a lace shrug. basically, she looked really, really elegant. i think zy was supposed to be a gondolier (as in the guy who rows the gondola in venice) because he wore a stripped polo shirt with a straw hat. but when he was not wearing the hat, he just looked underdressed for the event =_=" female guests came in various lacy, billowy and dressy stuff while male guests just looked semi-formal, as expected.

anyway, the evening passed pleasantly enough and when we weren't talking to manda or angela, we had cs to amuse us with his normal antics. we left the place around 11 and took a long walk out to the bus stop (walking in the total opposite direction the first time round!).

You Are A Lily

You are a nurturer and all around natural therapist. People see you as their rock. And they are able to depend on you. You are a soothing influence. You can make people feel better with a few words. Your caring has more of an impact than even you realize.

What Flower Are You?

You are a Lavender Rose

You represent love at first sight and enchantment. Your vibe: intense and intriguing Falling in love with you is: deep and meaningful

What Color Rose Are You?

You Are a Natural Beauty!

You're the kind of beauty that every guy dreams about... One that looks good in the morning - without a stich of makeup That's doesn't mean you're a total hippie chic though You have style, but for you, style is effortless

What Type of Beauty Are You?

wah, so good ar! heh.

Your Fashion Style is Classic

You like what's stood the test of time... Simple, well styled clothes that don't scream trendy You stay updated and modern, but your clothes stay in style for a while You wouldn't be caught in animal prints, fake fur, or super bright colors

What's Your Fashion Style?

really? haha, that's good to know!

You are a Rocker Girl!

If you don't have musical talent, you've got a talent for picking out great CD's. Music rules your life - and you've got the best MP3 collection of anyone you know. Many guys find you intimidating, but a select few think you're the catch of a lifetime. Start hanging out in more used record stores, and you'll find love with a fellow rocker!

What Kind of Girl Are You?

HAH!

Quizzes from plhu's blog

Guys Like That You're Sensitive

And not in that "cry at a drop of a hat" sort of way You just get most guys - even if you're not trying to Guys find it is easy to confide in you and tell you their secrets No wonder you tend to get close quickly in relationships!

What Do Guys Like About You?

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Hey not bad! Mostly quite accurate I'd say. Though I don't think I'm much of a flirt actually. lol

many many things

Ok it's just me.
I just received an email from the KCL accommodations office, offering me a place in Wolfson House. That's good news, as that was my first choice. And pw got the same place too. But as the first excitement wore off, apprehension mounted. As always, when faced with sth I dread, I feel like running away. Why are they so terribly vague. Or am I supposed to get something else in my snail mail that will tell me more. But at the moment I am about as clear as mud with regards to what I have to do. I only know that I have to return the form to them by the 16th with photos attached and to pay 150 pounds as a security deposit kind of thingy. BUT. There are no details as to how I am supposed to pay! Ya, you said by credit or debit, but you didn't say to whom and where! Should I drop the money into the Singapore River and hope that it will float over? And by the by, there is definitely no way the darn form will reach them on the 16th. But that's not a major problem. Think they anticipated such things and so I can just email them to say so.

Bah, maybe everything is sitting in my mailbox now.
Ok ok, I am a worry-freak.

And I use too many 'but's. That's not a good sign. Probably means that I'm an indecisive mouse. Ah yes, what did I say about not being gungho enough?


On a totally different track, my two baby brothers are now residing on the sunny island of Pulau Tekong, having entered the nation's service to protect the motherland. My mum and I are probably the very few people not in the army who actually get to eat BMTC cookhouse food more than once in a single day. And excitingly, we managed to sit through both the wet-weather and fair-weather plans that was prepared for the day. Basically the wet-weather one is a watered-down version of the fair-weather one with loads of waiting around. But then since only that many parents would have 2 sons enlisting at different times in a single day (actually having 2 sons enlisting in a single year is already a feat in itself!), many just left the island none the wiser about what they missed.

My mum went throught the entire gamut of emotions in a single day, but most of the time it must have been anxiety. Especially in the morning when it was youngest brother turn to enlist. She feels that he can't take care of himself and he didn't help matters much by being moody the whole time we were on the bus to Pasir Ris. But then, of course he must have been anxious too, much as he refused to admit it! However, after seeing things for himself and knowing that he could deal with with it, his mood lifted drastically and he was soon back to his old self. Not that this made my mum less worried, but it did make ME less worried.

Then it was Round 2 in the afternoon, when second brother came in. My mum and I, we waited at Tekong and met my father when they came in. That my dad was around in the afternoon probably had some effect on calming my mum. And for some reason, she was just less worried for second brother. Which I think is ironic, because second brother was more worried than the youngest one about army life. And he is the more introverted one of the 2. In some ways, I actually think that my second brother and I are quite alike, especially character-wise. Haha, not that I've told him though. Anyway, we went through the whole tour and speech and food-tasting again, after which we had to leave. Oh, we managed to see the youngest one as he was hustled off with the morning enlistees while on Round 2. Now THAT was something family and parents were never meant to see, at least for their own child.

And so we left the 2 boys on Tekong where they would get their heads shaved and be put through the rites of passage to become men. As the banner at the Tekong jetty says "BMT: It is not what you leave behind, but what you will gain in the days ahead." In 2 weeks' time, I'm sure I'll be seeing some new aspects of them that I have not seen before.

garr

i wish that either no one i know reads this blog or loads of pple i know read this blog. but as it stands now, exactly one person i know read it.

some time back someone (a stranger) left me a comment and i was really happy abt it. but the link he left couldnt be found on blogger, and so that was that.

the reason i am glad that strangers read my blog is that then i feel like i can rant abt anything i want and still feel detached abt it. and that is also why i didnt publicise this url to my circle of friends. but then again, i will be doing that soon, so that pple will know what i'm up to in london. ah but that's for the future.

anyway, as the title says: garr.
as usual i feel totally incompetent after reading the blogposts of my more gungho friends. why am i not as gungho. i throw up my hands in exasperation. garr. the matter of the honours yr proj is just eating me up but i have totally no clue as to how to make it stop. ok, i suppose talking to profs would help. but how to talk intelligently when i have no clue. bah. ok at least i know i can tag along with pw when she makes her rounds of profs. thanks my friend... if you ever read this. am i glad that you are going london with me.

it's crappy la. i am truly a product of the singaporean education system. obedient, conscientious, mediocre and quiet. to a FAULT. what the. bah. and you'll have to add that to my character as well. i cant stand it. i know, i know. all i have to do is to speak out. cos i think i have enough wits not to sound stupid. but how do you undo ten over years of ingraining. i can only do it when i'm around pple i'm used to and close to. and that basically is the biggest problem isnt it. cos we all start out as strangers.

garr.

what is the point

what is the point of asking, say, whether the mattress will become hot and uncomfortable after a while when the person you are talking to is the promoter. of course the answer will be 'no', the truth nothwithstanding. there is definitely no way she's going to say 'yes' and have you walk away without a purchase right? right. and you know that. so when you are asking, what are you really looking for? if she says 'no', you think she's just lying to get more business; if she says 'yes', you'll not want to buy it. you just can't take her word for it in this case. solution? ask a person who does not have a vested interest in your purhase of the item.


why is it that when we shop, we invariably end up messing up the display? especially neatly folded stacks of clothes. they are really prone to being reduced to huge mountains of untidy garments. one reason could be that it is difficult to refold the garments and replace it in exactly the same way after you've tried it on, especially if you are already carrying many shopping bags. we should all just try our best to be more considerate, putting things back in the same location, at least, when we decide that we don't want that item after all.


i just bought a nice pair of white shoes! one tip: medicated oil is really good for removing stains etc from pvc. the salesgirl at the cp ice lemon tee is good. she is attentive and polite when serving customers and gives helpful and constructive comments. yet she is not too pushy. it just makes shopping there a pleasure and i won't mind buying something from her again.

the other day i went to macs for an ice-cream cone. after i paid for it and turned around to exit, i promptly let go and the poor cone landed head-first on the ground. well, of course i was really disappointed. i picked the poor thing up and threw it away. i was about to go off without my gratification when the manager called out to offer me another cone! happy, i really was. and so i got my treat. that kind gesture really made my day.

working in the service industry really opened my eyes to the importance of courtesy and consideration. and we should all offer a smile to everyone around us. it is that simple to make someone happy.

i jogged today! after a 2 week hiatus. it feels good to have sweated it out.

i haven't mentioned that i bought a nice wrinkly skirt recently, have i? it's in this rather strange yellow colour and the only things i have in my wardrobe that match are my black and white tops. i don't think it's a waste of money though, cos as qy says, if we don't dress up now, then when? yes, now that i look nice in most types of clothes, i should endeavour to try different looks. XD i am now on the prowl for shoes/slippers/sandals with heels.

as you can see i am not a very consistent blogger. a short summary of what's happened since the last time:

1. lost my first job after 3 weeks.
   
2. found a new job over the weekend. still selling things though.
3. went to a chalet. slept like 6 hours over the 3 days.
4. finally set the track straight with j. haha, next suitor please XD

wow, i received an email from a sec school classmate whom we all thought disappeared for good. wondering if i should reply her for a meet up; we were moderately good friends in lower sec.

sigh, i really wished that school is starting sooner than it actually is.

look! gorgeous heels! just like angelina jolie wore in the poster for mr and mrs smith. *drool*

gainfully employed!

'nuff said.

it has been a while

I've been spending the last few days walking around ulu places in attempt to get a job. I got an offer from this company (a one-man one, I think) to go sell a mobile-phone hands-free thingy. I turned down the offer under the advice of my mum and some friends as they feel that crawling around multi-storey carparks peddling a electronic gadget sounds really doubious. So here I am eating wind.

Ok, I'm not exactly broke but it'll be nice to have some nice steady income so that next sem my back account can still be healthy when I stop work and start school. Should I take up the Mayflower offer? Think not. It will really screw my schedule.

People should really state clearly whether they are hiring temp/perm/full-time or part-time. Some equate part-time with temp, which clearly murks up the issue. Ach.

I'm going to crawl around some shopping centres after lunch. Some are looking for sales assistants.

Oh ya, I bought "Around the World in 80 days" in French from Kino the other day. Yay, I WILL finish it this hols.

Thumping and the rest

thumpers

met the gallbladders on thurs and we went to thumpers where it was ladies's night. managed to get in despite the new age limit of 23 though the bouncer had half a mind to turn us away cos qy and i looked too young. well next time i'll ditch my specs, k. probably should have done that ages ago too. first thing i went in, the bartender threw sth at me. no, he wasn't rude; he was my coursemate last sem! what a coincidence. the music was loud and good and the crowd, tame. had vodka sprite/coke/ribena and lychee and watermelon martini. the watermelon one tasted a little funny. the others were just alcoholic. went off rather early so that we wouldn't get robbed by cab companies later.

math and sci day

the kids were a real terror.

i got paid to read sense and sensibility for 2 hours before i got to do work. but once work started, i was shouting over the din and chaos for 2-3 hours non-stop. wow, was i hoarse after that. some kids are really quite intelligent and lovable, others are the anti-thesis: mischievious and cannot care less. some students are just natural leaders; others can only help behind the scenes, quite at a loss as how to explain and handle a simple situation.

but nonetheless, the teachers had love enough for all of them to be friendly, approachable and caring. they take pains to organise activities for them and persuade the children to do their best and help themselves. it was end of term, and parents came to school to understand how their children are doing. they too have so much love for the children.

it was a day that really opened my eyes.
i don't think i have enough love and fortitute to teach and guide kids. maybe just sufficient to handle my own children.
to all teachers: i salute you.

safra yishun

went to shoot there for the first time with a compressed air gun. it was totally different from shooting at cdans.

mark

my type of guy.

Your Element Is Air

You dislike conflict, and you've been able to rise above the angst of the world. And when things don't go your way, you know they'll blow over quickly. Easygoing, you tend to find joy from the simple things in life. You roll with the punches, and as a result, your life is light and cheerful. You find it easy to adapt to most situations, and you're an open person. With you, what you see is what you get... and people love that!

What's Your Element?

Quiz time!

Your Birthdate: February 11

Your birth on the 11th day of the month makes you something of a dreamer and an idealist. You work well with people because you know how to use persuasion rather than force. There is a strong spiritual side to your nature, and you may have intuitive qualities inherent in your make up, too. You are very aware and sensitive, though often temperamental. Although you have a good mind and you are very analytical, you may not be comfortable in the business world. You are definitely creative and this influence tends to make you more of a dreamer than a doer.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

This is so true.

Discipline

Shooting is a very disciplined activity.

You need to know when to put down the gun and not fire off. When the action is not right; when the sights are not correct; when the stance is wrong; when your wrist is not locked; when you are swaying. And many other things.

You need to know when to pause for a while and not continue shooting more shots. When your grouping starts opening up; when your arm is screaming in fatigue; when you start to see a galaxy forming on your target card.

Shooting is just like doing an mcq exam. You may not know then answer immediately when you read the question and the subsequent options. So you circle the question. You pause and read the question and options again. You answer only when you are quite certain that that is the correct answer.

So you fire off when you know that it is going to be a good shot.

You don't have to fire off the first time you lift the pistol and look through the sights. You can take 2 tries, 5 tries or even 10 tries if you want. You want to land a good shot.

GGR

Get Rea! on CNA was talking about girls watching girls and girls liking girls last night. Diana Ser talked about how girls are holding hands on the streets (I think that is ok actually), how girls become infatuated with other girls and how the objects of such affection are affected and react.

Coming from a girls school myself, I could totally relate to what the girls who were interviewed said. Although I have not had and do not have any emotional relationships with other girls (and I have always been looking for my Prince Charming), I think what they said about GGR being quite a natural thing to go into is true.

It is so much easier to be around girl friends and to trust them. Maybe it is precisely because we all just want to be friends and so I don't feel like I have to guess at what other motives the girl friend might have. And in this way, the relationship just becomes deeper and more comfortable as time passes. We become really really good friends. This friendship is something that I really enjoy and hold dear in my heart.

I feel "threatened" when guy friends try to get closer sometimes. I guess it's because I don't know what to expect and I don't know how to react. Then it all becomes quite tiring, especially when I know that he is not the one. I just want us to remain friends and I am quite glad that we are such good friends. But that's all. But this is obviously not what he expects. Maybe I just don't have enough experience with guys eh.

But what ever it is, I believe that GGR is really quite prevalent. It's just that it's all "underground" since it is not socially acceptable. And if society is not ready to do so anytime soon, then these girls are going to have a tough time ahead.

Procrastination is my middle name

I always procrastinate when I have to do something that I don't like. And the more important it is, the more I put it off. It's probably because I am just too scared. By putting it off, I can assauge my fears, albeit momentarily. Yet, all through the time before it gets done, I get stabs of panic and anxiety when it feels like I have an internal stethoscope amplifying every boom my heart makes. You say, then, isn't the conclusion obvious in this case. Just do it, since however long you put put it off, that is going to the the length of time you are going to have no peace. Yes, right. Except that while my conscious mind clearly accepts this rational argument, the little devil in my subconscious is whispering, "No, you can do it later. It's still not too late tomorrow..."

Except that most of the time, it is.

I need to grow thicker skin.

Image source: http://www.cs.usu.edu/~watson/bartholomew/armorimages.html

Sigh

I missed a call from the job agency today because my phone was on silent and I was preoccupied with vacuum cleaner at that time. When I discovered the missed call half an hour later, I called back but no one answered. *sigh*

I am supposed to be Miss Go-Get-it-Girl! today, so I resolved to call Ms C to ask whether she got my resume. But I got the answering machine both times. *sigh* Now I think I've lost my nerve! Popo. I think I'll call tomorrow morning. Maybe she has a errand that took her out of the office today.

I finally took jade's advice and asked. Now I'm in a dilemma. Is it better to work for free at the school labs (and make my cv more impressive) or to work as some trashy thing so that I'll have money for a laptop?

Personally I want very much to enhance my cv. I think that will be more valuable in the long run. But then this decision also depends on whether *** wants me. Argh, so many things are hinged on that! I'll go ask the gallbladders what they think when I meet them for dinner later.

Some good news though. I have been hired for one more day next week! Geherher. Now I'm supposed to think of something for a demonstration at a Chemistry booth for the school's science fair (or something). Any ideas anyone?

The Quest

Argh!

Someone please hire me pretty please!

I need to secure a temp job by the time NUSIS ends because I will not have any reason to moon around the house anymore. And it has to last me till school reopens.

And I need the moolah. Bad.

On another note, I am going to shoot for NUSIS! So exciting right. Hoho, they don't really expect anything spectucular, so I'll just have to train hard and do as normal then. Exposure, mon ami.

LBD

The past few days have been rather hectic. I was waking up, eating breakfast and then out of the house in 2 hours. Then I didn't return till late and I would be too comatosed to do anything by then. Last night was the worst: I started drafting my resume at 1 am. Then I woke up at 7 this morning to do the cover letter and to type the resume out. I hope my efforts pay off. *cross fingers*

Attended Peiwen's birthday lunch at Yuki no Yaki at Cineleisure today. It was more fun than I thought, though we spent more time waiting than eating. We waited for the steamboat to boil (the waitresses kept turning the thermostat down when they walked past in a bid to conserve power), for the meat to cook (simmering in its own oil) and for the cold plate to be cold enough so that the ice-cream would freeze. The food and the ice-cream was not fantastic though. I think it's the company that really matters. ;D

After that Peiwen, Addie, Boon, Huijia, Pui Man and I went to Robinson's to shop for Peiwen's bag. Then Pui Man left and the rest of us trooped off to bum at the food court. For some reason, Peiwen suddenly made up her mind to get her ears pierced and so leaving Boon to wait for her other half, we went to Bits and Pieces at Wisma. It was over very quickly; Peiwen was mildly traumatised. Ah, but now she has two holes in her earlobes from which she can suspend pretty pieces of metal.

I think this is the first time I've gone out with Addie, though we have been friends for so long now. Strange eh.

On my way home, I spotted this black dress at Metro which is really really pretty. It's spagetti strapped and is pleated with a simple bow in front. The cinch is this: it is only $19.90! Argh, I debated long and hard with myself but in the end, I decided that I am too poor now and that I don't need it anyway. Delayed gratification! I'll get a really nice LBD in the future.

Totally Productive!

I had the most productive day today. Yea, I woke up late and spent the whole day plus half the afternoon on "Angels and Demons", only breaking to cook maggie mee for lunch. I actually meant to go jogging but I couldn't wake up early enough and now it looks like it's gonna rain. So I guess I'll go tomorrow. Which means I better sleep early tonight!

I emailed *** about an attachment after I finish NUSIS. Let's hope the reply is favorable. *cross fingers* Now that I am gainfully unemployed, I'm trying to look busy and be helpful around the house so that I don't get nagged at. Argh. It's not that I don't want to work. But now my time is quite screwed up. Oh, I'll just volunteer for every single NUSIS thing.

Garbage has a new album! I'll get it after I start earning. Or when I get the pay for my TA stint. Ach, overdue!

New look!

Got a new look today after Brother grimaced at my pathetic layout when I told him that I've gotten myself a blog. I actually went around looking for a bogskin but nothing really appealed to me wholesale. So in the end I just found a picture and tweaked the blogger template a bit. This will be it for now... until I find something else!

Delayed Gratification

I first heard this term when I was in Secondary 3, when our geography teacher sat us down (ok, actually we were already sitting down) for a long lecture. I can't remember why she was so angry but I do remember her going on and on for half an hour about delayed and delaying gratification. I didn't think much of it then (besides that she was wildly exaggerating whatever sins we had committed) but I really do believe in delayed gratification now.

Anticipation just makes it all the more gratifying when you finally get it, n'est pas?