many many things

Ok it's just me.
I just received an email from the KCL accommodations office, offering me a place in Wolfson House. That's good news, as that was my first choice. And pw got the same place too. But as the first excitement wore off, apprehension mounted. As always, when faced with sth I dread, I feel like running away. Why are they so terribly vague. Or am I supposed to get something else in my snail mail that will tell me more. But at the moment I am about as clear as mud with regards to what I have to do. I only know that I have to return the form to them by the 16th with photos attached and to pay 150 pounds as a security deposit kind of thingy. BUT. There are no details as to how I am supposed to pay! Ya, you said by credit or debit, but you didn't say to whom and where! Should I drop the money into the Singapore River and hope that it will float over? And by the by, there is definitely no way the darn form will reach them on the 16th. But that's not a major problem. Think they anticipated such things and so I can just email them to say so.

Bah, maybe everything is sitting in my mailbox now.
Ok ok, I am a worry-freak.

And I use too many 'but's. That's not a good sign. Probably means that I'm an indecisive mouse. Ah yes, what did I say about not being gungho enough?


On a totally different track, my two baby brothers are now residing on the sunny island of Pulau Tekong, having entered the nation's service to protect the motherland. My mum and I are probably the very few people not in the army who actually get to eat BMTC cookhouse food more than once in a single day. And excitingly, we managed to sit through both the wet-weather and fair-weather plans that was prepared for the day. Basically the wet-weather one is a watered-down version of the fair-weather one with loads of waiting around. But then since only that many parents would have 2 sons enlisting at different times in a single day (actually having 2 sons enlisting in a single year is already a feat in itself!), many just left the island none the wiser about what they missed.

My mum went throught the entire gamut of emotions in a single day, but most of the time it must have been anxiety. Especially in the morning when it was youngest brother turn to enlist. She feels that he can't take care of himself and he didn't help matters much by being moody the whole time we were on the bus to Pasir Ris. But then, of course he must have been anxious too, much as he refused to admit it! However, after seeing things for himself and knowing that he could deal with with it, his mood lifted drastically and he was soon back to his old self. Not that this made my mum less worried, but it did make ME less worried.

Then it was Round 2 in the afternoon, when second brother came in. My mum and I, we waited at Tekong and met my father when they came in. That my dad was around in the afternoon probably had some effect on calming my mum. And for some reason, she was just less worried for second brother. Which I think is ironic, because second brother was more worried than the youngest one about army life. And he is the more introverted one of the 2. In some ways, I actually think that my second brother and I are quite alike, especially character-wise. Haha, not that I've told him though. Anyway, we went through the whole tour and speech and food-tasting again, after which we had to leave. Oh, we managed to see the youngest one as he was hustled off with the morning enlistees while on Round 2. Now THAT was something family and parents were never meant to see, at least for their own child.

And so we left the 2 boys on Tekong where they would get their heads shaved and be put through the rites of passage to become men. As the banner at the Tekong jetty says "BMT: It is not what you leave behind, but what you will gain in the days ahead." In 2 weeks' time, I'm sure I'll be seeing some new aspects of them that I have not seen before.